Fun Time: Doing or Being with Your Child?

Hello, dear conscious parent 💟!

Today I want to talk  about planning for summer vacation – which in the United States starts in 14 days. Most parents are already “booking” their child for different summer camps, activities, family reunions, reading/math tutoring, different sports etc. At one point or another, all of us fell into this trap, myself included.

As Covid-19 restrictions are being lifted, it is only natural that we want to “make up” for the losses in social activities during the pandemic. I do not oppose this idea. I am also a big advocate of sports, travel, and any outdoors activities we can engage our children in. However, today, I want to remind you that doing stuff with your child does not equal being with your child. Here’s what I mean by this:

  • as much as children want and need to be actively engaged in “doing stuff”, they equally NEED to feel connected to you;
  • your child loses easily and many times a day their sense of connection with you; this dis-connection shows up in unwanted or chaotic behavior; if a parent lacks attunement and understanding of the situation, he/she will automatically focus on fixing the behavior, which will only lead to more dis-connection, more rupture, and more emotional pain for everyone involved;
  • we tend to overschedule our children out of UNCONSCIOUS FEAR: of missing out, of being judged for poor parenting, of connection, of vulnerability.
More than anything else, your child needs your  Presence, Attunement, Attention and Intention and more importantly, they need you to slow down. My recommendations for the summer are:
  • make “slowing down” a priority; your body could use a break from the cortisol that toxic stress creates constantly;
  • make “doing nothing together” a ritual, at least once a week, or every day in small time dosages;
  • make 1:1 time with each child a daily ritual;
  • make time to listen to their cries, complaints, disappointment, and anger;
  • play to connect daily if you can; follow your child’s lead and take the less powerful role;
  • make your own mental and emotional health a priority for the summer.
If you feel overwhelmed in your parenting, you are not alone. Join my community of conscious parents and get support directly from me by joining my Conscious Parent Accelerator Program today.

Speaking of my course, here's what a parent in my Conscious Parent Accelerator Program told me this week:
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