I truly believe that freedom is a state of mind. It comes from how we feel inside ourselves when nobody is looking; when we are alone with ourselves.
Where does this sense of inner freedom come from?
In their book, Healing Developmental Trauma, authors Laurence Heller, Ph.D., and Aline LaPierre, PsyD, say:
“When children do not get the connection they need, they grow up both seeking and fearing connection. When children do not get their needs met, they do not learn to recognize what they need, are unable to express their needs, and often feel undeserving of having their needs met (…) The stability of this early connection is particularly important in shaping an individual’s patterns of relationship to body, self and others.”
Most of us, adults, did not receive consistent connection as children. We needed to develop coping mechanisms to ease the pain. These patterns of thinking and behaviors became ingrained in our brains to such an extent that we believe this is who we are. Learning to distance oneself from his/her own thinking patterns takes bravery and enormous focus; also time and practice. However, this is the only way to freedom and self-liberation.
I give parents in my program an exercise called “Coming Out of Prison” that helps them identify fears, beliefs and coping mechanisms that keep them prisoners of their own mind. It is hard at first, but very rewarding as they go deeper into the work of self- awareness. Eventually, they reach a place of courage and personal authenticity.
If you want to celebrate Freedom this weekend, start with you. Ask yourself these questions: Write your answers down:
- What does freedom mean to me?
- Do I feel free in my mind?
- Do I feel free in my body?
- How do I model freedom to my children?
- How do I model authenticity to my children?
- Am I doing the work I need to do to liberate my mind from limiting beliefs about myself and the world? What else could I be doing?
Testimonials from parents in the Conscious Parent Accelerator Program:
“Thank you very much Mihaela Plugarasu ! I don’t know what we would have done without you. It was wonderful to have you there! You were our guest speaker and it was amazing. A forum without you, around this topic, would not have been possible… Thank you very very much, I’m sending all my love to you! ✨”
“After one and a half years practicing what I have been learning from the program, I can say I feel like a better person as a whole, a better mother, a better wife, a better woman and human being.I know I still have a lot to learn and heal but I feel so different in a good way. Thanks again and again Mihaela Plugarasu for having this vision and sharing your knowledge with us. 🙏🙏🙏” ( W.)
“Hi Mihaela Plugarasu! Last week I finally had a meeting with my son’s new teacher. She couldn’t understand why I insisted on meeting her until she read my son’s file. She told me that when she met him for the first time this year, he was a completely normal boy, connected in class, totally integrated with his classmates, a fast writer, playing with everyone during the breaks, and even showing emotion if he was not included in some game. That’s the exact opposite of what I would get from school for at least the past 4 years. She said if she hadn’t read the file, she would have never imagined my son used to have all those symptoms and even medication. I explained what a difference it made to now have evidence that this was the result of narcissistic abuse and not ADHD or learning disabilities. I cannot thank you enough for showing me how to support my son all this time in our journey from hell into normal life.” ( G.)