Every person is on a healing journey because the Hero’s Journey never ends. The Hero is You. 

Wise people, who are more intentional about their inner processes, seek help along the way. All heroes have helpers, don’t they? 

In my practice, I am privileged to meet amazing women who are not only heroes, but they inspire me and help me stay humble. 

Often, we hear things like : “How could this woman choose that guy? How could she stay in that marriage for 10,15, 20 years? Why didn’t she leave sooner?” You get the point. 

I hope we all understand that no woman chose poorly because she could have chosen better. She couldn’t have. Men too; men stay in miserable relationships/ marriages because they couldn’t have chosen any better either. People end up in abusive situations because as CHILDREN, they learned that love is hard to earn, for various reasons, in various family-of-origin contexts, including people with so- called “happy childhoods”. 

To illustrate this point further, here are TOP 20 statements I hear most often from clients, across cultures, education, income or gender: 

1. Nobody. I had nobody to talk to about what happened/ tipycally: bullying, abandonment from one parents (usually fahters), death of one parent, sexual abuse, severe neglect, corporal punishment, alcoholism, substance abuse, domestic violence, etc) . 
2. It was not safe for me to share with my parents, so I buried it inside. I moved on. 
3. I was all alone. I am still alone. I can’t rely on anyone. I am all alone in the world. I can’t trust anyone, not even my husband. 
4. My father terrified me. When he wasn’t working, he was drinking. 
5. My mother was helpless (or depressed). I was always worried for her. I felt guilty/ responsible for her pain. 
6. I don’t usually cry. I don’t understand why I am crying now. Please, forgive me for crying. I don’t want to waste your time with my crying. 
7. I don’t remember anything before the age of 5-6. 
8. I struggle to remember my parents smiling, or being nice to each other. 
9. My mom was too tired to play with me. 
10. I can’t stand my child crying. It triggers me, so I distract her/ him. 
11. I am not smart enough. I am not good enough. I am not capable. I can’t make decisions on my own. 
12. I never sat with my pain until now. I didn’t know if I could handle it, so I covered it up the best I could (over-working, self-sacrifice, over-proving, over-achieving, drinking, eating). 
13. It wasn’t that bad. Others had it worse than me, and they are doing perfectly OK. Then I ask:  How would your child feel if this would happen to him/ her? Ashamed, alone, scared, confused, angry, not loved, not wanted, unworthy. 
14. I didn’t matter to my mother/ father. I can’t forgive her/ him. 
15. My mother/ my father was never satisfied with me, no matter what I did, how much I achieved. I was never good enough for her/ him. 
16. I wasted my best years. I am a failure. 
17. I have to save the people I love. 
18. I can’t take any risks. I feel paralyzed. 
19. I am all alone in this marriage. 
20. I feel ashamed for having needs and wants. I can’t ask for what I want (from my partner). The risk of rejection or humiliation is too high. 

I want to emphasize again that MEN & WOMEN share the same childhood pain equally. This is across gender; just because women are more open to personal therapy, it doesn’t mean that men “have less issues”. On the contrary, I dare to say. I wish more men would seek help; the world would be better because they would turn into better fathers, better husbands, better leaders. We need more conscious men. 

CLIENT TESTIMONIAL AFTER 10 SESSIONS: 

“I feel very privileged to have Mihaela as my therapist.  Since starting working with her, both my husband and my child have noticed a big positive growth in me as a person and as a mother.  Mihaela has a natural gift of relating to people and making them feel comfortable, by creating a safe and supportive environment.  She has a reflective nature which she combines with non- judgemental listening skills.  She successfully helped me work through my feelings and thoughts,  while working towards becoming a better mom and a better ME. 
Mihaela genuinely wants to help and make a positive change. I am fully aware that my work has only started and I will need Mihaela’s wise guidance and gentle support for a bit longer. I feel very lucky to have Mihaela as a therapist and would happily recommend her to anyone.”
(Mother of minor child in the UK)