The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.
(Albert Einstein) 

I believe that Einstein was onto something when he made this statement; he also famously said: “It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”

People can’t stand change. It’ s unconscious and harmful, but true. 
The human brain is designed to save precious energy to preserve (perceived) safety at all costs. 
We draw our sense of safety mostly from what “feels familiar”, what we are used to, what we were primed for as young children, under the age of 7 or earlier. 

Were you ever curious to ask your parents, if they ‘re still alive, what was your birth like? How about your mom’s pregnancy with you ? How about your first year of life? First three years of  your life? What was your mother going through at that time? Did she have the support she needed? How was the marriage relationship between mom and dad in your first 7 years of life? What did you learn as being “normal” from observing your family of origin environment ? 

These types of questions are life- changing if we stay with them long enough. 

In a world of scattered attention, addictive reels and stories, cultural pressure and AI-confusion, the only safety we have is our own (solid) Sense of Self. Psychologists refer to these individuals as  “secure attachment style individuals”. They feel wholesome, worthy of love, and have an inherent trust in others  and the world; they are flexible, self- regulated, emotionally mature, and intellectually curious. They accept their faults without falling into shame or blame. They are capable of sustained emotional intimacy (unlike avoidant/anxious attachment style); and can communicate their values and needs without being fearful of rejection. They are playful while also very mature. They mean what they say , and they say what they mean.  

Most of us did not start life with a secure attachment style; but through many years of personal therapy, counseling or coaching, mindfulness practices, communication skills, support systems, and honest friendships/ relationships, we managed to change. 

Or better yet : we managed to come back to ourselves. Children are born to wire for secure attachment; if the environment is not conducive, they will adapt, as you did.  

If you have a hard time self- regulating your emotions in parenting or your marriage, what are you doing about it? 
If you have a pattern of choosing “the wrong person” over and over again, what are you doing about it? 
If you have a hard time staying present and playful, but firm and steady, with your kids, what are you doing about it? 
If you have a hard time speaking up and voicing your needs, what are you doing about it? 

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“Mihaela is very direct. Very intuitive, quick on her feet, kind and enlightened. She doesn’t waste time; she gets to the root of the problem and starts “fixing it” WITH  you. Sometimes you don’t even know when that happens. She is THAT good. She is extremely accommodating to the state of mind you are in and navigates it perfectly. She listens. She HEARS you. She gives homework which is amazing because that keeps you engaged in your healing not just during your sessions. She is compassionate and loving and truly, one of the best humans I ever met and hands down the best therapist I have ever worked with.”